Movie Review for Patient X

Stray Thoughts

Patient X

Horror, Thriller | R-13 | 1 hr 30 min
GMA Films
- About halfway through my viewing of Patient X, I had already compiled a rather long list of stray observations about the movie. I think these observations paint a better picture of what the experience of this movie is like, so in lieu of a regular review, here is that list, as best as I can remember it.

- But first, a quick synopsis: twenty years ago, Lucas (Richard Gutierrez) witnessed the death of his family at the hands of a group of aswang who were looking for Guada (Cristine Reyes). In present day, he’s a doctor working in Manila. He’s called back to his hometown by a police detective whose family has also been slaughtered, claiming that he’s captured the killer. The captive turns out to be Guada, who begs forgiveness from Lucas. Lucas is tasked with figuring out how to kill these aswang, who are on their way to the hospital where Guada is being held to retrieve her.

- RGUTZ is a registered trademark.

- Guada is claiming that she no longer wants to eat humans. This is very much undermined by the fact that she just ate the police detective’s wife and child.

- She’s really sorry, though, so I guess that makes it okay.

- These aswang, despite supposedly being super strong, agile, and fast enough to disappear from plain slight, aren’t very good at killing people.

- Seriously, it takes them forever to kill one person.

- Lucas’ training as a doctor appears to only have covered defibrillation.

- Richard Gutierrez has confused overacting with intensity. They are not the same thing.

- Yam Laranas’ visuals are pretty good, but his shot logic is all out of whack. Some of these sequences make absolutely no sense.

- The big mystery of the film is how to kill the aswang. They make it very clear that TJ Trinidad’s character has been trying very hard to figure this out. Once the answer to this mystery is revealed, it seems ridiculous that TJ Trinidad hadn’t tried it already. That just makes him look stupid.

- That totally looked like he pulled his heart out of his stomach. That is not where the heart is located.

- Parents, if your child is on a ventilator, and the power goes out, fanning her won’t solve the problem.

- I’m no medical expert, but defibrillation probably won’t solve the problem either, Doctor Lucas. She was on a machine that was helping her breathe. She wasn’t suffering from arrhythmia.

- Most obvious medical opinion ever: if she wakes up, that’s a good sign.

- Che Ramos is quickly becoming one of my favorite actresses, but she has made a major misstep here.

- This is one of those films where phones don’t exist. They can’t exist, because if they did, the normal human response would be to call for more help, and not locking yourself inside a hospital with barely any weapons.

- I feel it must be said again that Laranas is a great cinematographer.

- Folks, when you’re trying to escape from aswang, you might want to try and sneak quietly towards the already open doors. Do not loudly break down a closed door, and loudly pry open the steel bars covering the windows. That’s just asking for trouble.

- The movie is almost over, and I know nothing about these characters other than their jobs. I don’t know why I’m supposed to care about any of them. They’re all very unlikable people. I think I’m supposed to feel sympathy for Guada. It’s just hard, because despite saying she doesn’t want to eat people, she’s EATEN PEOPLE.

- I’m supposed to care about Lucas, too, but he’s the kind of idiot who leaves a kid locked inside a car with a window cracked open just wide enough for an aswang arm to get through. He even put a seatbelt on her, to make sure it’s more difficult for her to get away. I tend not to care about people like that.

- Patient X is the kind of horror movie that only works if you can forgive the characters for being extremely stupid. The story makes so little sense that only the most stray of thoughts can fully reflect the blatant illogic present in every minute of this film. The best thing I can say about it is that it occasionally looks really good, Yam Laranas still showing great skill in creating well-composed images. But the recommendation stays the same: quarantine the patient, and lock it away forever. It might be contagious.

My Rating:

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