Biboy (Ogie Alcasid) has spent his whole life looking for his childhood love, Opao, who he was separated from when she was adopted by a fading movie star. And now he’s finally found her. She’s now known as Darling, and she’s the biggest star in the country, making it difficult for Biboy to reach her. But an opportunity to get close to her appears when the commercial she’s working on suddenly needs a replacement talent. The one hitch is that the talent they need is an old woman. Biboy pretends to be a woman to land the part, and he gets even closer to darling when he gets hired as her personal assistant. Biboy wants to tell Darling who he really is, but gets caught up playing the character, making it more difficult to admit the truth.
There is some semblance of a plot here, but it’s barely worth mentioning. This is one of those films that seems barely thrown together, a collection of random gags and scenes that have very little to do with each other, punctuated by cameos that arrive with a little nod and a wink to the audience. If you take the time to just parse out the story, you’re just going to get frustrated. There’s no overriding sense of logic, and the movie will often forego developing its characters or advancing its plot so it can fit in another silly joke. The comedy is pretty lowbrow all in all, going as far down as flatulence to grab a few laughs. This production is a real underachiever when you get right down to it. When you consider the names involved in the production of the film, it’s hard to justify why this film looks so bad. The film is littered with terrible shot choices. For example, there is a scene where three characters are talking and drinking beers. The wide shot of this scene is taken from a ridiculous distance and a high angle, the characters and their actions taking up just a fraction of the frame while some foliage dominates. It’s not a great choice for a scene with characters talking, especially for a scene that has to convey some sort of emotion. It’s baffling filmmaking through and through.
It is my contention that Ogie Alcasid is one of the finest talents in our country. It is saddening, therefore, to see him do two movies in a row that have him dressing up as a woman. It isn’t that cross-dressing as a concept is bad, but the roles he’s taken go no further than that. It banks fully on the idea that Ogie is funny when he’s dressed as a woman, and does a disservice to a fact that he’s funny enough on his own. Judy Ann Santos is always a bankable talent, and she does pretty well all in all. Roderick Paulate and Carmi Martin are made to out-ham each other in practically every scene, and it’s a testament to their talent that they didn’t get too annoying.
Apropos of nothing, at the end of this movie, it gets reflexive, showing the director receiving a call from the producers, telling him to film an ending dance sequence. He protests and says that Slumdog Millionaire just did it, and then he does it anyway. It’s a scene that’s pretty representative of the whole film, really. It’s a film made by people who really do know better, but end up doing the same tired shtick anyway, because it’s easier. OMG goes so far below its own talent level that one can’t help but be terribly disappointed.