A Fantasy Foible
posted on Thursday, January 31, 2008 in Movie Reviews
Imagine, if you will The Lord of the Rings. Imagine that the book was copied and paraphrased by someone who did not speak English. Now imagine that the manuscript was turned into a screenplay by a bunch of 13-year old fanfic writers. Then, imagine that the casting director was on drugs. And then after all that madness, imagine that it was directed by Uwe Boll, generally considered the worst director of the last decade. Then you’d be getting close to In The Name Of The King: A Dungeon Siege Tale.
When the kingdom gets attacked, and his wife gets kidnapped by the evil Gallian, a man named Farmer discovers a far greater destiny than he had ever imagined. With a couple of his friends, he defies the King’s wishes and undertakes a treacherous journey through uncharted lands to find and rescue his wife. Meanwhile, the King has to fend off a treasonous plot being hatched by someone very close to him.
Hilariously, the promotional materials here claim that the film is actually inspired by The Lord of the Rings, although the credits don’t seem to reflect that fact. This movie is like a weird pirated version of The Lord of the Rings. You know the type. It’s that DVD you find at the bottom of the stack, with a cover that looks pretty legit until you notice that the title actually says “The Lore of the Rings” or something like that, and it turns out to be some Icelandic film. The entire story is essentially The Return of the King, except really bad. It has none of the intrigue, or really, any of the appeal that the original story has. Just take all the good bits of the third LotR film, and make them all crappy. That’s what this film gives us.
Uwe Boll has a reputation of being a horrible director, and this film shows why. There’s just no artistry in it. It’s like he’s not even putting any thought into the shots he’s making. There are humongous lapses in shot logic and continuity, and there’s some really bad camera work during the action sequences. The camera fails to keep track of what’s happening, and Boll didn’t bother to try for a better take. Beyond that, there are just tons of poor directorial decisions here. The way the film cuts between stories is ridiculously clumsy. Boll doesn’t transition out of scenes, he crashes into them. It’s just bad filmmaking through and through.
This film features the most miscast actors ever. Ray Liotta should never even be near a fantasy film. Sure, he’s got presence, but every time he starts talking, it’s Goodfellas all over again. One probably shouldn’t be thinking about the Bronx when Gallian’s making a speech. Burt Reynolds is the king, and while Reynolds is generally a good actor, he doesn’t exactly cut a regal figure. Matthew Lillard spends this film talking in one of the worst faux-British accents committed to screen. Most of the supporting cast just phones in their performance. The one good thing about this film is Jason Statham, who always moves with purpose. But really, this film is a casting disaster.
There is some appeal in this film in the same way that people like to watch car crashes. Ray Liotta as a wizard? That sounds hilarious. And really, it is. That’s probably not the reaction the filmmakers were hoping for, but that’s the best they’re going to get.
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